My entire world was turned upside down this weekend, I was left feeling helpless and broken-hearted. I knew something was wrong, something was not right, something was going on. But I never imagined what it was. There was a phone call, not the ideal platform for the conversation that needed to take place, face to face would have been much better, and preferred by all parties, but sometimes things just need to be handled and it isn't always ideal, or perfect, or best, how it takes place.
I listened and I cried. But the heart of God poured out of me. I don't know how I would have reacted if Christ wasn't my center. I am not trying to brag on myself, just being real. At that moment it really was Christ who guided my reaction.
I am an emotional person, I cry a lot. At sappy movies at weddings, at Hallmark commercials, yup, I'm a crier. and I'm okay with that. But even still I have cried more in the last couple of days than I have in a while. And when I think that I'm all cried out, when I think I couldn't possibly cry anymore, the tears come again. They are tears of brokenness, sadness, of the unknown, and also tears of joy and tears of peace.
But through it all I feel so close to God. I don't know what tomorrow holds and I have no idea what happens next, but in those moments of fear and uncertainty where worry can reach up and take control, when there are so many emotions rolling around fighting for top billing in my mind, I feel it, I feel Him. There is a peace of God in my soul that is so overwhelming and so unexplainable and so powerful that it pushes everything else away. That peace wins every time. And I hear God whispering in my ear, "It's okay Renee, I've got this." And he does, overwhelmingly and fully and completely. And I do not need to worry or fret and I can truly rest in the peace of God.
He continues to comfort me and lay his hand on me and reassure me. And I continue to rest in him. It is a wonderful place to be, a place of love and comfort and peace.
Are you truly resting in the peace of God? In the good, in the bad, and in the uncertain times?
I've totally had that experience...February 28, 2011. People who don't have what we have do not understand. Today I am rejoicing and grieving right along with you. So glad that you have the Almighty to comfort you at this time. So sad that you have to go through this. Let me know if you need anything. Praying...
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