Sharing Space

I'm an introvert. Being around groups of people is absolutely exhausting to me. By the time all is said and done I am ready to collapse in a pile on the couch under a blanket, book and coffee optional but definitely welcomed. Sunday mornings at church are usually enough to exhaust me, especially Sunday mornings that I preach like yesterday, and we rarely schedule youth activities on Sundays. But with most of our teens starting school this week and next, we decided to do a cookout.

Simple and uncomplicated, nothing fancy, just hot dogs and chips at our house. That is where community happens though. When you invite people into your home. I'm not talking about inviting them into your house where you proceed to clean every inch and make sure nothing is out of place, no cobwebs, no dust, everything perfectly placed and looking like no one lives there. I mean inviting them into your home. Where toys are laying on the floor and blankets are unfolded. Where all the DVD's are not neatly stacked and in their proper cases. Where there are cheerios on the floor and a few dirty dishes in the sink. Where you can be real and honest and open. Where people feel comfortable and are vulnerable. That is sharing space, that is being in community. That's when people open up and share their hearts. That's when they know you care and are for real.

I remember one time when we were in California the church had thrown a baby shower for me and the teen girls had taken the stuff over to or house. By the time I got there they had made themselves at home in my living room and where watching television and had gotten quite comfortable. It made me smile that they had felt so comfortable they felt like they could just hang out and stay awhile.

So, while I am an introvert and desperately desire my own space, there are joys in ministry when you get to share space with others.

It's gonna be a good day

My husband is out of town for a couple of days. He left early this morning and won't be back until Thursday evening. So, for a couple of days it's just me and them. And although I know it will be crazy, every day is crazy in this house, I know it will be fun.

I am deciding right now that I'm not going to get overwhelmed when they are tired and begin to have meltdowns, but that I will be calm and do something to keep me sane. If that means locking myself in my bedroom, having a cup of coffee, baking, or simply trusting in the promises of God. I will keep my cool.

I am deciding that we will have fun. I will not say no before my children ask me questions and I will not say no immediately once they have been asked. I will actually think and consider what they are asking because some things really don't matter.

I will enjoy my children, the big boys go back to school in two weeks. And, although I am counting down the days, the dynamics of the house change drastically when I go from having four around all day to just two. And to be honest, some days I am just so busy taking care of everything that I don't take time to enjoy my children. So no matter what is going on at church and what things I think I need to get done, my children have to take priority. I know all to well that time with them is shorter, sometimes much shorter than we can ever imagine, better take time to enjoy it.

So, this morning I am having my coffee, I am resting in the overwhelming and unexplainable peace of God, and I am looking forward to having a good day. No matter what gets thrown my way, I know, I'm almost asking for trouble ;)

Crazy Love

Have you read it? The book, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. It will change your life, it will rock your world, it will challenge you, it will stretch you beyond your comfort zone. I am reading it for the second time. The first time I read it was probably about 5 years ago with a group of senior high girls in California. I read it, I highlighted, I underlined, I wrote in the margins.

When we decided to do summer small groups with our youth ministry this summer we put together a list and let the teens decide and to my great pleasure the girls decided on Crazy Love. I was excited to journey through this book with another group of girls. And again I got out my highlighter and my pen as I began and continued making more notes, more highlights, more underlines. I so love the way that God reveals himself to us.

I love looking back at past notes and seeing how different my life is now than it was then. I love seeing how different parts of passages impact me differently, and I love hearing from the teen girls how they have been impacted by the passages.

And it reminds me, it reminds me that I can read a passage of scripture more than once and learn from it. That God can use something to speak to me over and over again and meet with me where I am at that moment in time. Thankfully I am not spiritually at the same place that I was 5 years ago and yet God has more truths to speak to my heart.

I find the same thing true on Sunday mornings, there is not a sermon that I hear that does not have some truth I can actively apply to my life. Some truth that I feel God speaking directly to me. It is so important that we remain open and listening to God. The words he has are not always, "for others", they are most often directly for us.

I know what truths God has spoken to me this week, and I can't wait to hear from the teen girls how God has spoken to them, and how they have put that into practice.

A place to rest

My entire world was turned upside down this weekend, I was left feeling helpless and broken-hearted. I knew something was wrong, something was not right, something was going on. But I never imagined what it was. There was a phone call, not the ideal platform for the conversation that needed to take place, face to face would have been much better, and preferred by all parties, but sometimes things just need to be handled and it isn't always ideal, or perfect, or best, how it takes place.

I listened and I cried. But the heart of God poured out of me. I don't know how I would have reacted if Christ wasn't my center. I am not trying to brag on myself, just being real. At that moment it really was Christ who guided my reaction.

I am an emotional person, I cry a lot. At sappy movies at weddings, at Hallmark commercials, yup, I'm a crier. and I'm okay with that. But even still I have cried more in the last couple of days than I have in a while. And when I think that I'm all cried out, when I think I couldn't possibly cry anymore, the tears come again. They are tears of brokenness, sadness, of the unknown, and also tears of joy and tears of peace.

But through it all I feel so close to God. I don't know what tomorrow holds and I have no idea what happens next, but in those moments of fear and uncertainty where worry can reach up and take control, when there are so many emotions rolling around fighting for top billing in my mind, I feel it, I feel Him. There is a peace of God in my soul that is so overwhelming and so unexplainable and so powerful that it pushes everything else away. That peace wins every time. And I hear God whispering in my ear, "It's okay Renee, I've got this." And he does, overwhelmingly and fully and completely. And I do not need to worry or fret and I can truly rest in the peace of God.

He continues to comfort me and lay his hand on me and reassure me. And I continue to rest in him. It is a wonderful place to be, a place of love and comfort and peace.

Are you truly resting in the peace of God? In the good, in the bad, and in the uncertain times?

Hello, my name is..

Have you heard that song by Matthew West, "Hello, my name is"? I love that song, every time it comes on the radio I always find myself turning up the volume and singing along. For more than one reason of course. First, the tune is catchy and a lot of fun, but more importantly the lyrics are powerful, and very very true.

I said the other day that I was reading in Colossians, and I was, but I have now moved on to Titus. As I was reading something stuck out to me, something I had never really given much thought to before, the way that Paul referred to himself at the beginning of the letter.

"Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ for the faith of Gods elect and the knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness -- faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and at his appointed season he brought his word to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior." (Titus 1:1-3)

He knows exactly who he is, and whose he is, and he knows what he has been called to do. It is clear to him, he does not guess, he does not hint at something. He is clear and confident.

It makes me wonder, am I that confident? Do I boldly declare who I am, whose I am, and what my purpose is? Is that evident in my life, in my actions, in the way that I am? What does my nametag say? What is the salutation greeting that I give to others?

We get caught up in the past a lot. We get stuck on regret, defeat, lies, deceit. And the list goes on and on and on. We forget who we are, we forget whose we are, and we are unable to follow as closely and cling as tightly to God because we are misrepresented.

We take our sharpie out and try to scribble something new over the old, but it is still there, you can still see it. God wants to remove that label, he wants to change it. Forgiven, set free, changed, renewed. He can replace that with a fresh tag, no stains, no tears, nothing crossed out. That is how we should be living, that is what we should be clinging to.

How do you "introduce" yourself? What is the name that you go by? I need to start leaving my insecurities behind and be confident in who I KNOW I am in Christ!

The peace of Christ

Can't hardly believe that it is August already. It seems as though summer just started, but then there are days where it seems like summer has lasted forever. The kids begin to bother each other, more than normal, and my patience is slowly fading as summer does. How much longer can I put up with the arguing and the bickering and the whining and the tattling and the messes and the late nights and the crankies. No need to go on I suppose. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I am so blessed that I get to spend as much time with them as I do, but when I am also trying to get work done and keep a house clean and about a million other things, it becomes very wearing some days.

I have been hanging out in the book of Colossians lately, it's a great book (I say that about a lot of the books of the Bible, hard to pick a favorite). This evening, after putting the kids to bed, I sat down to read chapter 3, and I must say it's amazing how many times I can read something and still pick up on something new, something that strikes me differently than before.

Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

Words that struck me particularly powerful today. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts," I must admit that the peace of Christ has not been ruling in my heart. I become irritated and short tempered. When four children are all talking at the same time and wanting attention and needing something different and I am in the middle of doing something that I simply must get done, it's exhausting. How different would my attitude be if I really truly let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. And be thankful, be thankful for more of the little things, the moments that I take for granted because they happen everyday, they won't happen forever. I am sure that my days will go much smoother and my fuse will be much longer if I truly let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. That is my prayer for myself each morning that I can live each day with that in mind. How about you?