The attitude of service

It's a beautiful fall day here in Ohio and I am sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee and sermon notes spread around trying to concentrate and failing miserably. My mind keeps wandering to this and that. I have been thinking a lot lately about how/why people serve in the church and I have noticed a few things over the years.

1. Too few people are often involved in the serving. This is nothing new and something I have heard over and over again you know the whole 20% of the people doing 80% of the work, or whatever percentage you choose to put in. And mostly it is true, I have found that sometimes it seems to be the same few people who are doing most of the jobs.

2. People act like they have to serve. Okay now I am not saying this about everyone, but I often times see this attitude. Well it needs done so I will just do it. Well, if you "serve" with an attitude of "I have to" then you aren't really serving.

3. We miss out on people who would be amazing at serving. It's our own fault really. We fail to seek out new people to serve. Why does the same lady who volunteers 3 out of 4 Sundays in the children's department also have to be the one to coordinate the food for the pot luck? But the problem is we didn't even bother to ask one of the many people who aren't serving in any way if they would be willing to step in and help out. Sure maybe the thought of doing crafts and singing with kids totally creeps them out and makes them want to run in the opposite direction, but maybe the thought of accepting food for the potluck, organizing it, and setting it out is something they feel they can excel at.

I heard someone recently say, "well, I guess I'll have to do it." And sure sometimes we do just have to step in and help out. But when you have the time because it isn't an immediate need, then why not take the time to ask around. Maybe that couple that sits quietly in the back have some musical talent they would be willing share, and maybe that guy who would melt at the thought of getting up front would be happy to help out in the sound booth or passing the offering plate. We shouldn't just assume that no one else is qualified or willing and then grumble and complain when we find yet another thing piling up on our list to do. We should be willing to listen, cause someone might offer some valuable insights in to their gifts and talents. Oh you mean you know how to make really awesome fliers or you often have some extra time with which to make a few phone calls. Or they might lend an idea of someone they know who would be perfect for the job.

My husband often says, "you have not cause you ask not." How often do we really ask or seek out to actively involve new people? Just a few thoughts to think about, instead of complaining of all we "have" to do, why don't we pray about who new we can get involved.

It's fall!!!

Someone had told me a little while ago that my blog missed me, well I have missed it too, and so, I am back. Sorry it has been so long.

It is FALL!!!!! I cannot say that with enough excitement. I LOVE FALL! Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. First, there is the weather. Fall weather is a perfect mix of cool cloudy days and warmer sunny days, and some days you get it all wrapped into one, wonderful. Oh and I am weird, I love the rain. There is something to me about a cool damp world that is absolutely beautiful, I guess one of the reasons that I loved living in the great state of Oregon. The weather is great because it gives me a chance to wear short sleeves and sandals and sweaters and boots.

Then there are the smells. I love the smells of fall, the smell of rain or the smell of the cool crisp air sneaking through my window in the morning tempting me to stay in bed "just a few minutes longer." The smell of apples and pumpkins and baking. Oh how I love to bake. Baking is like therapy to me. When the house is crazy and the kids are fighting or being loud, or just plain driving me crazy because I have had to answer the same question at least a dozen times, baking relaxes me and the finished product makes me feel as though in the craziness of life where the moment after I have cleaned something a mess appears, that at least I have accomplished something, I have completed something. And it will, hopefully, bring a smile to the face of whoever gets to enjoy it.

But one of the things I love the most, especially in Ohio, is the beauty. Everything changes color. This world of green becomes a world of reds, yellows, and oranges. Colors more vibrant and beautiful than you could possibly imagine or a picture could even begin to capture. Colors that, as the leaves begin to fall, cover everything, yards, porches, driveways, sidewalks, streets. It is a beautiful reminder of our loving creator. It's like every fall God gets out his paint brush and paints a beautiful picture just for me. A reminder that he is in control, that he carefully and very beautifully orchestrates something completely wonderful in our lives.

 

A view from outside my front door this morning. The leaves are just beginning to change, but I can't wait to drive down the street and see all the vibrant colors soon.

 

 

What's your favorite part of fall? And what does it remind you of? Have a fabulous day and enjoy the cool crisp air!

Sharing Space

I'm an introvert. Being around groups of people is absolutely exhausting to me. By the time all is said and done I am ready to collapse in a pile on the couch under a blanket, book and coffee optional but definitely welcomed. Sunday mornings at church are usually enough to exhaust me, especially Sunday mornings that I preach like yesterday, and we rarely schedule youth activities on Sundays. But with most of our teens starting school this week and next, we decided to do a cookout.

Simple and uncomplicated, nothing fancy, just hot dogs and chips at our house. That is where community happens though. When you invite people into your home. I'm not talking about inviting them into your house where you proceed to clean every inch and make sure nothing is out of place, no cobwebs, no dust, everything perfectly placed and looking like no one lives there. I mean inviting them into your home. Where toys are laying on the floor and blankets are unfolded. Where all the DVD's are not neatly stacked and in their proper cases. Where there are cheerios on the floor and a few dirty dishes in the sink. Where you can be real and honest and open. Where people feel comfortable and are vulnerable. That is sharing space, that is being in community. That's when people open up and share their hearts. That's when they know you care and are for real.

I remember one time when we were in California the church had thrown a baby shower for me and the teen girls had taken the stuff over to or house. By the time I got there they had made themselves at home in my living room and where watching television and had gotten quite comfortable. It made me smile that they had felt so comfortable they felt like they could just hang out and stay awhile.

So, while I am an introvert and desperately desire my own space, there are joys in ministry when you get to share space with others.

It's gonna be a good day

My husband is out of town for a couple of days. He left early this morning and won't be back until Thursday evening. So, for a couple of days it's just me and them. And although I know it will be crazy, every day is crazy in this house, I know it will be fun.

I am deciding right now that I'm not going to get overwhelmed when they are tired and begin to have meltdowns, but that I will be calm and do something to keep me sane. If that means locking myself in my bedroom, having a cup of coffee, baking, or simply trusting in the promises of God. I will keep my cool.

I am deciding that we will have fun. I will not say no before my children ask me questions and I will not say no immediately once they have been asked. I will actually think and consider what they are asking because some things really don't matter.

I will enjoy my children, the big boys go back to school in two weeks. And, although I am counting down the days, the dynamics of the house change drastically when I go from having four around all day to just two. And to be honest, some days I am just so busy taking care of everything that I don't take time to enjoy my children. So no matter what is going on at church and what things I think I need to get done, my children have to take priority. I know all to well that time with them is shorter, sometimes much shorter than we can ever imagine, better take time to enjoy it.

So, this morning I am having my coffee, I am resting in the overwhelming and unexplainable peace of God, and I am looking forward to having a good day. No matter what gets thrown my way, I know, I'm almost asking for trouble ;)

Crazy Love

Have you read it? The book, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. It will change your life, it will rock your world, it will challenge you, it will stretch you beyond your comfort zone. I am reading it for the second time. The first time I read it was probably about 5 years ago with a group of senior high girls in California. I read it, I highlighted, I underlined, I wrote in the margins.

When we decided to do summer small groups with our youth ministry this summer we put together a list and let the teens decide and to my great pleasure the girls decided on Crazy Love. I was excited to journey through this book with another group of girls. And again I got out my highlighter and my pen as I began and continued making more notes, more highlights, more underlines. I so love the way that God reveals himself to us.

I love looking back at past notes and seeing how different my life is now than it was then. I love seeing how different parts of passages impact me differently, and I love hearing from the teen girls how they have been impacted by the passages.

And it reminds me, it reminds me that I can read a passage of scripture more than once and learn from it. That God can use something to speak to me over and over again and meet with me where I am at that moment in time. Thankfully I am not spiritually at the same place that I was 5 years ago and yet God has more truths to speak to my heart.

I find the same thing true on Sunday mornings, there is not a sermon that I hear that does not have some truth I can actively apply to my life. Some truth that I feel God speaking directly to me. It is so important that we remain open and listening to God. The words he has are not always, "for others", they are most often directly for us.

I know what truths God has spoken to me this week, and I can't wait to hear from the teen girls how God has spoken to them, and how they have put that into practice.

A place to rest

My entire world was turned upside down this weekend, I was left feeling helpless and broken-hearted. I knew something was wrong, something was not right, something was going on. But I never imagined what it was. There was a phone call, not the ideal platform for the conversation that needed to take place, face to face would have been much better, and preferred by all parties, but sometimes things just need to be handled and it isn't always ideal, or perfect, or best, how it takes place.

I listened and I cried. But the heart of God poured out of me. I don't know how I would have reacted if Christ wasn't my center. I am not trying to brag on myself, just being real. At that moment it really was Christ who guided my reaction.

I am an emotional person, I cry a lot. At sappy movies at weddings, at Hallmark commercials, yup, I'm a crier. and I'm okay with that. But even still I have cried more in the last couple of days than I have in a while. And when I think that I'm all cried out, when I think I couldn't possibly cry anymore, the tears come again. They are tears of brokenness, sadness, of the unknown, and also tears of joy and tears of peace.

But through it all I feel so close to God. I don't know what tomorrow holds and I have no idea what happens next, but in those moments of fear and uncertainty where worry can reach up and take control, when there are so many emotions rolling around fighting for top billing in my mind, I feel it, I feel Him. There is a peace of God in my soul that is so overwhelming and so unexplainable and so powerful that it pushes everything else away. That peace wins every time. And I hear God whispering in my ear, "It's okay Renee, I've got this." And he does, overwhelmingly and fully and completely. And I do not need to worry or fret and I can truly rest in the peace of God.

He continues to comfort me and lay his hand on me and reassure me. And I continue to rest in him. It is a wonderful place to be, a place of love and comfort and peace.

Are you truly resting in the peace of God? In the good, in the bad, and in the uncertain times?

Hello, my name is..

Have you heard that song by Matthew West, "Hello, my name is"? I love that song, every time it comes on the radio I always find myself turning up the volume and singing along. For more than one reason of course. First, the tune is catchy and a lot of fun, but more importantly the lyrics are powerful, and very very true.

I said the other day that I was reading in Colossians, and I was, but I have now moved on to Titus. As I was reading something stuck out to me, something I had never really given much thought to before, the way that Paul referred to himself at the beginning of the letter.

"Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ for the faith of Gods elect and the knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness -- faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and at his appointed season he brought his word to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior." (Titus 1:1-3)

He knows exactly who he is, and whose he is, and he knows what he has been called to do. It is clear to him, he does not guess, he does not hint at something. He is clear and confident.

It makes me wonder, am I that confident? Do I boldly declare who I am, whose I am, and what my purpose is? Is that evident in my life, in my actions, in the way that I am? What does my nametag say? What is the salutation greeting that I give to others?

We get caught up in the past a lot. We get stuck on regret, defeat, lies, deceit. And the list goes on and on and on. We forget who we are, we forget whose we are, and we are unable to follow as closely and cling as tightly to God because we are misrepresented.

We take our sharpie out and try to scribble something new over the old, but it is still there, you can still see it. God wants to remove that label, he wants to change it. Forgiven, set free, changed, renewed. He can replace that with a fresh tag, no stains, no tears, nothing crossed out. That is how we should be living, that is what we should be clinging to.

How do you "introduce" yourself? What is the name that you go by? I need to start leaving my insecurities behind and be confident in who I KNOW I am in Christ!

The peace of Christ

Can't hardly believe that it is August already. It seems as though summer just started, but then there are days where it seems like summer has lasted forever. The kids begin to bother each other, more than normal, and my patience is slowly fading as summer does. How much longer can I put up with the arguing and the bickering and the whining and the tattling and the messes and the late nights and the crankies. No need to go on I suppose. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I am so blessed that I get to spend as much time with them as I do, but when I am also trying to get work done and keep a house clean and about a million other things, it becomes very wearing some days.

I have been hanging out in the book of Colossians lately, it's a great book (I say that about a lot of the books of the Bible, hard to pick a favorite). This evening, after putting the kids to bed, I sat down to read chapter 3, and I must say it's amazing how many times I can read something and still pick up on something new, something that strikes me differently than before.

Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

Words that struck me particularly powerful today. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts," I must admit that the peace of Christ has not been ruling in my heart. I become irritated and short tempered. When four children are all talking at the same time and wanting attention and needing something different and I am in the middle of doing something that I simply must get done, it's exhausting. How different would my attitude be if I really truly let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. And be thankful, be thankful for more of the little things, the moments that I take for granted because they happen everyday, they won't happen forever. I am sure that my days will go much smoother and my fuse will be much longer if I truly let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. That is my prayer for myself each morning that I can live each day with that in mind. How about you?

Just in case...

We all have back-up plans right? Just in case. Just in case something goes wrong, or someone doesn't show up. Just in case we get lost or are late, or you name it, I have thought of it. In youth ministry I always have a plan B, and C, and D, E, F. You know, it's good to always be prepared. It may not be ideal and it definitely is not as good as plan A, but just in case, I am prepared.

Restraunts and stores have emergency exits. That extra way out just in case the unthinkable happens. It's a safety net, so to speak. Of course if you go out those emergency exits when there is no emergency, everyone is going to know because the alarm goes off. So, what am I getting at? God has a back-up plan for each of us. He has one for you and he has one for me.

It's great to know that when I fail that God has me covered, he's got my back. He is prepared for whatever stupid decision that I make by myself without giving any thought or consideration to what he has that is best for me. He's got me covered, it's great. Right?

Well yes it is, but why settle for plan B when God has a totally and completely amazing plan A for me? Why settle for climbing through the emergency exit when I can walk through the front door? Why do we constantly settle for second best instead of  seeking what God has first for us?

I know that most of us can quote Jeremiah 29:11 (and those of you who it doesn't immediately come to mind for are looking it up, that's okay, it's good to crack the Bible open sometimes), God really does want what is best for us. His plan A, is his absolute BEST for us. It's not something that is just okay until we decide to ask for something better.

When God asks you to do something uncomfortable, and you manipulate it so you don't have to do exactly what God asked you to do, you aren't getting his plan A, you don't get his best. When God asks you to do something today, and you wait 2 weeks before doing it, that's not God's plan A. I know I know, it's not easy, it's hard, it's scary, it's uncomfortable. It leaves a nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach sometimes.

But here is the thing, when we follow plan A, immediate obedience, that is when we reap the biggest blessings from God. In Genesis 12 Abram had immediate obedience to God when he called him to go. He followed God's plan A. He didn't always, there were many times in Abram's life that he chose plan B or C or D instead of plan A. God continued to be faithful to Abram and blessed him greatly, but there are consequences when we don't chose God's plan A for our lives.

I don't want to settle anymore. I don't want to just go with plan B because it's easier. I don't want to just jet out through the emergency exit but it's right there instead of walking out the front door. I want God's BEST for my life. Are you settling for plan B, or are you always striving for God's plan A?

Late Nights

I'm not usually up this late. Okay, I don't even remember the last time that I was up this late. Wait, never mind, that would have been at this time last week hanging out with a cabin full of teenage girls on the last night of camp. But seriously, I go to bed at 11 pm, like every single night. So, for me, it is completely unusual for me to be up at this hour.

And yet, here I am, sitting at the kitchen table with the only noises the ticking of the clock and the clicking of the keyboard as I type. I was in bed and almost asleep when my daughter got out of bed, and went back to bed, and got out of bed, and went back to bed, and got out of bed, and went back to bed...you get the point. So, by the time I got her settled back into bed and nice and cozy, I had lost my almost to sleepness. (I know it doesn't quite make sense, but I think you understand)

So, here I am, with the other 5 members of my family sound asleep, all by myself. It's kind of nice really, the house is rarely quiet with 4 young children running around. And if quiet does happen, it's usually a sign that someone is doing something that they aren't supposed to be doing, so I had better go and check on them. Thankfully not the case right now.

Someone once told me that when you can't sleep at night it's usually because God has something to tell you. I believe that God always has something to tell you, the problem is we are just to busy to listen. So, sometimes maybe in the quiet of the night, when the world is still and everyone is asleep, maybe it's a little easier to listen because there are less distractions.

I know what God is saying to me, the same thing that he has been talking to me about for a while. Something that I struggle with. Not because it is a bad thing, but because he is asking me to do something that is far beyond myself. But that's often what God asks of us isn't it? He asks us to do things that make us uncomfortable. He asks us to stretch ourselves and puts us into places and situations that we cannot succeed at on our own. There, in that place, in that moment, we must completely rely on him to bring us to success. Pretty awesome right? But we must be obedient to his calling, we must be obedient to what he is asking us to do in order to have that victory.

So, what do your late night conversations with God look like? What is he asking you to do that goes far beyond what you are capable of on your own? If you say nothing, then you really aren't listening to him.

It's goodnight for me. Morning comes early in my house, but I have a feeling it's going to be an amazing day!

The Recovery

It was 1 am before I finally stumbled into bed this morning. After driving the teens back to church, taking a couple of them home, and then kissing my four sweet children and getting myself ready for bed. I was exhausted. It doesn't help that I have had some sort of horrible summer cold all-week, or the post-camp sickies from being at camp last week with the teens.

It was worth it though, every minute of walking, of eating food that is completely not good for you, of driving home quickly but not too quickly while straining to stay awake, of agreeing that even though you would like to leave early to stay until the park closes. I rode rollercoasters, I love rollercoasters, but not as many as I would have liked to of. I do however draw the line at the Windseeker, see above picture. I am all for bonding with my students, but there is no way I was going on that thing.

I did do things I didn't want to do. You know those aweful buckets that go back and forth across the middle of the park? Somehow 7 of the teens talked me into getting on them. I did however keep my head low, eyes closed, and kept a tight grip on the pole in the middle. A few of the teens and I spent an hour in line for a ride that then broke down and we had to leave.

But it was fun, I had a blast, despite the fact that I felt like my head was going to explode from being stuffed up all day. And the teens had fun. They got to know each other better, they talked, laughed, took pictures, and just had a good time together. Drama was at minimum thankfully, you never know with teenagers, and no major fights errupted.

We are left with memories to smile about and stories to tell. I had lots of interesting conversations with teens, with parents, and with other youth pastors.

And today, yes today, today I am thrown back into life. Kids fighting in background as I try to get work done. A nasty cough because all of the congestion that was in my head has moved down and settled in my chest. Sore legs, because even though I'm not lazy, that was a whole lot of walking. Tired eyes because moms rarely get to sleep in, and even though my husband tried to let me, my internal clock said WAKE UP!

So, I will drink another cup of coffee, we won't talk about how many I have had today, and smile to myself because I know how important building relationships is in ministry. I will say I will go to bed early tonight, but that doesn't really ever happen, but there is always that chance that at some point this evening I will sit down on the couch and one of those sweet kids of mine will cuddle up next to me and we can take a short nap together. It doesn't happen very often anymore, but I take it when it comes. And I will remember how blessed I am to do something everyday that I absolutely love!

Long Days and Mommy Guilt

I am going to Cedar Point with the teens today. I must admit I love amusement parks. I also must admit that a certain amount of anxiety sets in as I board the roller coaster and continue to slowly click up that first big hill, one of the reasons I prefer the newer roller coasters, much much faster.

Amusement parks with teens are a lot of fun. Especially teens that have never ridden a roller coaster before. Each time we go my husband and I are usually privileged to introduce some unsuspecting teen to the wonderful world of rollercoasters. I will never forget two young junior high boys many years ago sitting right behind us in a roller coaster screaming at the top of their lungs and holding on for dear life. I couldn't help but laugh out loud the entire ride.

Amusement parks are where relationships are built. It's a different kind of teen that you get to know as you journey together from ride to ride and sometimes seem to have to wait forever weaving through the lines for a ride that is sometimes barely worth the wait. Or is it? When you have spent the time talking and laughing and getting to know students, there has even been a tear or two shed during those times in lines. It's amazing how much students are willing to open up when you have the time to just chat. Not a moment is ever wasted on those days, only the ones not taken advantage of.

Amusement park days are long days, they start early and end late. And it's tough to be the one driving home while everyone else is sleeping. But totally worth it when you see and hear them tell their parents how much fun they had. And you see the new relationships forming because just because you are best friends does not mean you like the same rides.

I have a confession as I am preparing to head out the door, pick up a couple of teens and fill my van with gas before heading to the church to start our adventure. It's days like these that are hard on the mom side of me. Could I take my kids? Sure, they would have a blast too, but spending the day with my kids at the kiddie rides and not in line with the teens means that I would miss out on all of that relationship building. I told my oldest that maybe I would let him come next year. I am sure he is tall enough for the rides, and it would be a lot of fun. But for this year I will be out of the house probably before they wake up this morning and home long after they have fallen asleep, I will kiss their heads and whisper goodnight to them before falling into my own bed into a deep deep sleep. But I also know that in the morning I will be awakened by whispers, and yells, of "where's mommy?" And lots of hugs and kisses by four sweet children who may miss me today, but it won't matter tomorrow.

And I'm sure that some day, when my kids are older, someone will be making that sacrifice for them. The sacrifice of time with their own family in order to invest in the lives of mine. A total worth it sacrifice.

I still am in awe that I get the privilege of being a youth pastor. Of spending my time pouring into the spiritual lives of some pretty amazing teenagers. Not just the ones we are investing in now, but all of the ones we have invested in before. I hope they know the impact that they have made in my life, and I love to see how God is using them and shaping them today!

What kind of title is that?

You may think that my blog title seems a little strange, or even a bit backwards, but seriously, it says a lot about me. Backwards sure, Jesus is definitely first in my life, that IS my priority, everything else falls into place after that.

Then, there is my husband and 4 amazing children. I don't know how I got so blessed with such an amazing man that I get to walk next to daily, parent with, and do ministry with. It truly is a HUGE blessing. Our kids are pretty great too, they keep me busy, but I can't imagine life without them.

I am a female in youth ministry. It is anything but a glamorous job, but it is definitely the most rewarding thing, besides being a mom, that I have ever done. But just because I am a youth pastor does not mean that I have to wear tennis shoes and t-shirts all the time. In fact, I rarely wear tennis shoes and t-shirts. I prefer heels when appropriate, or a cute pair of stylish boots in the cooler weather.

And of course my coffee. I love my coffee. I have taken to taking my own coffee and French press with me to teen events. It's always a good time for coffee, and coffee helps with any mood and in any situation.

So, just a little about me really. My ramblings about my life as a wife, a mother, and a female youth pastor. Did I fail to mention that my husband and I are co-pastors? It's a blessing and a curse on any given day. But it wouldn't have it any other way.